Day 5 - What? Day 5????

I know for those of you who aren't like me and can actually put your mind to lifestyle changes and do them, this probably doesn't seem like a huge achievement. For me though, it is. I've done 2 programs in my life where I can say I stuck to them for more than 4 or 5 days. Even then, it was followed "with exceptions". This time though is quite honestly, the first time I can say that I've 100% eaten only compliant foods. Even if sugar is the last ingredient in a long list of ingredients on some seasoning that is only going to be a teaspoon in a large recipe, it's been rejected. I'm super proud of this and though I do realize I still have 26 more days (including today) to go, it's no small thing.

Also, my mind is different this time. I thought about it last night after my friend said I was really motivated this time. I'm actually not. I don't feel motivated and "pumped" and rah rah I'm going to do this at all. I feel submissive. I feel like this is just something I am doing that I must do and although it sucks in many ways, it will pay off and so I keep trudging along. Maybe that's ok though, because whatever gets me to stick to it is just fine.

Forgot to mention yesterday a big victory for me! It was "birthday celebration day" at work. We celebrate all the birthdays and work anniversaries for the month. There is always cake or other treats. I didn't have any and didn't feel irritated about it, but I was still able to participate and enjoy the celebration even without the treats.

This morning, I actually managed to eat a warm breakfast before 8:30. Granted it was mashed potatoes without the protein, which is not ideal but at least I am getting used to eating warm, savory foods in the morning and hopefully I can add in more of the "template" foods (veggies, protein and fats at every meal). I will keep pushing myself and as of tomorrow start having breakfast at home.

So no pic of breakfast because it was, well boring.

Lunch today is leftover spaghetti squash and meat sauce from dinner

Dinner was steak with Caesar salad and mushrooms and left over crispy mashed potatoes.

I'll be honest, even though I spent the better part of Sunday prepping and planning, this is an INSANE amount of work every evening. My once a week grocery shopping just doesn't cut it because you need to replenish fresh fruit and veggies mid-week. Run the dishwasher every few days? Hah! Yah, if you want to eat out of baggies! Every night it is loaded and unloaded. I'm sure those of you with children are thinking, "um yah.... obviously" but for me it wasn't an every day chore. Feed the dogs, unload the dishwasher, reload the dishwasher, get everything out for dinner and for any other add on's I want for the next day. Make dinner, eat dinner, clean up after dinner, finish preparing the lunch items for the next day, clean up the kitchen, run the dishwasher. It's a lot for me.

The good news is, none of this is making me think that I should just quit and go back to the old way. Not even a little. I'm complaining about it yes and we can expect that to continue for some time, but I'm not giving up. I have got some amazing people in my life, both new friends and old. The gifts of emails that just show up cheering me on or friends I've just met taking time out of their day to check in with me is just amazing. I am so very fortunate and I'm grateful for each and every one of you!

Until tomorrow.

T